I don't think I really mean to bitch and moan about her and her issues constantly it's just fear really. When someone is experiencing something awful you can look at it in a detached way, you are distanced from it. But there's always that horrible nagging feeling of 'it could be me'. Now that is scary. You don't even begin to think what is actually going through her mind when she's up there in tears over it all and you can hear the raging argument clattering on above your head. I feel rotten now. I feel like there was something I could have done. She probably sits up there dissecting me for all I know! Oh well....Lets think about where to go later.

I might go to the pub. I don't know. There's something about pubs which is intriguing, the smell of them and the noise, all the absent husbands sitting around their pints talking about 'the wife' and the naggings they've come out to escape. How they've come to seek solace in the company of these bar flies because the prospect of sitting at home with 'the wife' is too awful a prospect. A night of soap operas, boiled potatoes and stony silence; all culminating in a slow troop upstairs then back turned, light out and a stretching empty void where those little looks and touches should be. No, can't have that! Down the pub, bum on bar stool and reel out all those 'my wife is...' jokes until it stops hurting that you can't even talk to each other anymore.